Friday, 19 September 2014

Part 2

Hi Guys :) So, what did you think of part 1?

Chapter 2- Good news

Scanning the hall, I looked for the letter 'D' posted on the walls that were due a new coat of fresh paint. Once spotted, I reluctantly made my way to the table.

"Dawson" I murmured to the kind-faced old man from the office. My results were right on the top of the pile. The man (who I couldn't put a name to) handed me the folded piece of paper. I offered my biggest grin and walked away.

I found a nice private corner to look at my results. I faced the wall, incase of tears. As I opened the paper, I embraced myself for the worst possible outcome.

I scanned over the results, heart pounding painfully against my ribs, like a beast trying to break free from its confines. Only after looking over all of my results did I allow myself to breath. To smile. My grades were a mixture of As and Bs. Heck, I even had a few A*s. This would get me into a decent school.

I had now friend to speak of, so I decided to go back home. Mum wouldn't particularly celebrate my results. However nothing stopped me from celebrating all on my lonesome.

Before I had a chance to get out, The Head Mistress, Ms Davies summoned me to her office.

I knocked softly on the old wooden door.

"Come in" A singsong voice called out. I entered begrudgingly.

"You wanted to see me?" I asked quietly. I always tried to keep a low profile at school. I theorized that it was my getting detention that caused dad to get killed. So, I decided to not get on the wrong side of people, to prevent another unfortunate event.

"Yes" The Head smiled "Please, take a seat" I sat, keeping myself upright and trying not to slouch. Ms Davies continued talking.

"I have some excellent news for you !" She chirped.

"News?" I asked, confused.

"You have been offered a full scholarship to Evocate Academy!" Ms Davies practically beamed. I was taken aback. I didn't have brilliant grades. And yet I was offered a scholarship?

"I have never heard of that school"

She hesitated "To be honest, neither have I. But, they seem to have taken an interest in you"

"How? why?" I contained my excitement deep down. I did have my doubts. I wasn't a genius, I had no particular talents...

"I don't know, but they are insisting that it is essential that you enrol" Ms Davies opened a drawer in her desk. She pulled out a leaflet. The words 'Evocate Academy' was scrawled along the front page in some eerie font. There was a symbol underneath it. The symbol consisted of a circle and a star. A pentagram, I thought. I opened the leaflet. There was a picture of the school. It was an impressive gothic building, equipped with turrets and the like. The fact that it had a 100% success rate was the icing on the proverbial cake.

"So...what do you think?" Asked the Head.

Calmly, I replied "I accept" She squealed, I winced.

"Now, you better go home and tell your mother"

"Thank you, goodbye" I rushed out of the building and hopped on my bike. Putting pedal to the metal, I made it home in just five minutes.


  1. Awesome!! I wanna know what happens next! :)))

  2. The academy is a very interesting idea. But things start to get murky with your story telling here.
    First off: if Kira consistently gets good grades why is she worried? Shouldn't she be confident? Or are you showing that she is a worrier? If this is the case you should show her being worried about something very small at the beginning of the story. Also the following passage doesn't make sense: "... grades were a mixture of As and Bs. Heck, I even had a fews As." Yes, you already stated that.
    Why does the Head Mistress talk to her? Doesn't the school have a career counselor?
    Also, why is the Head Mistress so excited about a school she's never heard of? Shouldn't she be leery and mistrustful? The academic world is her life. She's probably very well acquainted with teachers at surrounding schools. As the Head Mistress it's her JOB to know about other schools and what their reputations are.
    On to a few issues with the new Academy. What well-meaning school uses a pentagram on their brochure? That would be a major red flag to most students and teachers. "Oh, look, a symbol commonly associated with the occult. I'm a clear headed person that cares about education so I better steer clear."
    And a 100% success rate? What is it, the Phoenix academy where they hand out degrees like candy to anyone who pays? Universities purposefully makes the first year the most difficult to weed out the dumb-asses from the serious students. Why don't they operate like a normal university?